Spirit On The Margins

Greg Mortenson and Pakistani students

I read a great book on vacation, called Three Cups of Tea, by Greg Mortenson. From the book’s jacket cover:

“One day in 1993, high up in the world’s most inhospitable mountains, Greg Mortenson wandered lost and alone, broken in body and spirit, after a failed attempt to climb K2, the world’s deadliest peak.  When the people of an impoverisehd village in Pakistan’s Karakorum Himalaya took him in and nursed him back to health, Mortenson made an impulsive promise: He would return one day and build them a school.  Although he was a homeless “climbing bum” living out of his aging Buick in Berkeley, California, Mortenson sold what few possessions he had to launch one of the most remarkable humanitarian campaigns of our time…Three Cups of Tea traces Mortenson’s decade long odyssey to build schools, especially for girls, throughout the region that gave birth to the Taliban and sanctuary to Al Qaeda.”

Three Cups of Tea web site

I really resonated with his story.  I was struck by how his mission chose him, reinforcing how often serendipity plays a part in calling and purpose. He did not set out to find this remote village. He got lost and stumbled into it.  He did not set out to build schools in that part of the world.  He was pursuing his passion of climbing mountains.  I would contend that this was God at work, shaping and molding his life world, passion, and calling.

The sub title of his hard cover book is, “One Man’s Mission to Fight Terrorism and Build Nations…One School at a Time”.  He goes on to explain in a podcast that this sub title was the idea of his publisher to help market the book.  But, in the book, he talks about his compassion for children as his driving force. 

Charlottesville Podcasting Network

For the longest time, he and his wife made great financial sacrifices to support this work. It was difficult to get the attention of people in the United States about educating children in Pakistan and Afghanistan, until after 9/11. Then once again, in circumstances not of his choosing, the world awakened to the idea of education as a way to counteract terrorism. He did not choose combatting terrorism as his mission. It has chosen him.

Central Asia Institute web site

I so resonated with this book because it so closely resembles the way I have experienced God at work in my life.  I did not choose City House as a place to work.  It was synchronicity that I was their consultant in 2002.  I did not choose an economic slow down in 2002 that opened my eyes to even look at this opportunity. I did not choose the passion for this mission that has overtaken me.  I would not choose to be working full time for half time pay and not feeling cheated about it. 

Greg Mortenson’s journey is very inspirational to me, and I come back from vacation more committed than ever to my passion for City House’s mission, regardless of the costs.  It is my life world that has been created by God and to which I have chosen to surrender. I am grateful for the way in which God spoke to me on vacation through Greg Mortenson’s life and book.

city-house-mentor-on-the-margins-description-6-08

A few weeks ago, my friend Janet Hagberg invited me to a gathering called Real Power Network. It is a group of people that commit to living and working out of higher stages of power as described in her book Real Power.  I could feel God nudging me to go.  It gave me an opportunity to talk through our new program The Inner Leadership Journey: Mentors On The Margins, which is based on the concepts of power described in Janet’s book.

I could tell before I even went the first day of this session, that my spirit was agitated, about what I didn’t know.  After presenting the concept behind this program, I asked the group for input on how to price it.  I mentioned that Janet Hagberg had been suggesting that we not have a listed price, and simply ask people to pay what they thought it was worth at the end. I was intrigued with the idea and yet frightened by it at the same time. Talk about giving up total control and trusting!!

As I explained her suggestion, I found myself saying, “I know this is craziness. I know where this leads” and I dramatically gestured with a downward movement. One of the attendees that day challenged me on that point of view. She said that she felt drawn to invest in what we were doing, but not if I went into it with an attitude of scarcity. I could feel my internal resistance to this line of thinking. I have heard this from others before. It is my nature to hear things like that as critcism and that I have “done things wrong.” I always want to say, “But, you haven’t lived my life experience - all the financial struggles that have ensued when I have followed my heart.” It feels like a discounting of my life experience.

As I reflected back on the conversation later that day, I realized that I was more upset than I had realized about someting that had happened before this gathering. A foundation that had funded City House at a significant level for 2 years had decided to stop funding us because of our new direction, which includes the offering of this new Mentor On The Margins program. No wonder this interaction at the network bothered me so much.

I had assumed that I would not be going back for the second day of the gathering. But that night, I slept restlessly.  I faded in and out of consciousness.  I was aware all night long of coming to the realization that I was no longer doing fund raising for City House in a way that had integrity for me - nothing unethical, but just a realization that I could no longer bring myself to ask people for money in the way that I had. I knew when I woke up that morning, that I needed and wanted to go back to the gathering. And, I knew that I wanted to ask the group to help me think through a different way to raise money for City House - one that operated at higher levels of power as described in Janet’s book and had more authenticity for me.

The group was very helpful that day.  Some of the comments that I heard:

• Receive the things you need and out of your sufficiency you can be generous with others
• Could I be so bold as to actually stop asking people for money?
• Could I be so bold as to publicly put out my monologues - “I don’t want to ask you for money anymore, and you’re tired of having me ask.”
• “What if I let this be as easy as it wants to be?”
• “I’m no longer comfortable promoting. But, I am comfortable letting the world see the real me.”
• “Attraction, not promotion. Just invite people to participate.”
• Sacrificial living and giving from the heart - “Pay It Forward” - give beyond what you can afford, so faith and trust are connected. This concept is based on the movie “Pay It Forward”

Pay It Forward Movie 

Fast forward to this week. We had a design team planning session for Mentor On The Margins. Janet Hagberg is part of that design team. And she said, “In my prayer time this morning, God gave me the idea that we ought to provide this program with a ‘Pay It Forward’ concept. That is, instead of mass marketing, let’s invite select individuals to invite a mainstream leader they care about to take this program, and offer to sponsor and pay for that individual.  In other words, “Pay It Forward.” 

Within minutes, two people in the design team jumped in and said, “I will be one of those ‘Pay It Forward’ people.” One of them said she was going to forgo half of her season tickets to the Minnesota Twin’s games in order to sponsor someone.  I sat in awe and wonder at what was unfolding in front of me.  God was truly at work here and showing me what it means to give sacrificially.

What came to me in prayer yesterday was that God has already been showing me this principle for quite some time. I just hadn’t noticed. Jim Dodge followed a “Pay It Forward” concept when he founded City House. He accumulated assets for a ministry that he thought was going to be one thing, and has turned out to be something totally different.  He invited me to lead City House and generously released those assets to pay my salary, not knowing where all this was going.  He released it to my leadership, forgoing his power to control it and have it unfold the way he might have preferred.  I and City House were the beneficiaries of his sacrificial giving. Pretty amazing stuff.

And finally, God helped me to see that I have been personally drawn into ”Paying It Forward”.  On February 1, I went to half time because of funding challenges. Although I have been looking for other half time work, I find I have little interest in anything other than City House.  It is clear that God continues to ignite my passion for this mission - to the point that I have been working full time for half time pay these past 3 months - and not feeling cheated.

As Janet Hagberg likes to say, “Don’t you just love God’s sense of humor?”

A friend of mine sent me an article from the Shalem Institute for Spiritual Formation newsletter.  It really has captured my imagination. I can feel God’s invitation for me to take a serious look at what the author, Shannon Howard is saying.

Infusing Money With Awareness

“We are so convinced that there isn’t enough to go around that we’ve trained ourselves to believe that more is better; it has become the source of much of our selfishness and greed. ”

“When you let go of trying to get more of what you don’t really need, which is what we are all trying get more of, it frees up immense energy to make a difference with what you have.  When you make a difference with what you have it expands.”

“Sufficiency isn’t the flip side of scarcity and it isn’t the same as abundance, which is having more than you need.  Sufficiency is precise; it means that things are exactly enough.”

As we await in gratitude for year end donations to City House and as I walk with persons on the margins that have so little (and yet who can seem so less stressed than I about having enough) these passages really speak to me with meaning. Sufficiency is a radical new thought for me.  How about you?

I have a 15 year history with God of responding to what I perceive to be invitations to move further and further out on the margins. What has come with it is decreasing income and assets. This has proven to be a real struggle for both my wife and me.

After a lot of wrestling with this in prayer, God and I seem to have reached a new covenant that I am now living into - to discern whether this is “of God.”

• God, you’ve caught me in your net of working with the poor.
• This path has and will have great meaning and purpose for me.
• But, what comes with the path is a struggle with resources.
• You have assured me that we will have food, clothing, and shelter for the next 24 hours for the rest of our lives.
• You have assured me you will help me to adapt to the struggle with joy and serenity.
• You have assured me that you will always provide me with meaningful work as an expression of this path.

I feel a sense of peace about this. In it, God has spoken to me about some of my deepest fears. I am grateful. I could use your ongoing prayers about this. Thank you.