Spirit On The Margins

We held our last session of the “Will You Drink From This Cup?”  pilot program this past week. For those of you that don’t know the history, it is a 12 week spiritual enrichment program for mainstream learners.  It is for those who want to deepen their relationship with God, with the poor, and in a supportive environment of fellow learners.  The expectation is that learners be in at least one relationship with someone who finds themselves on the margins of society, and to pray for a half hour a day, with reflection on selected saints and writers.

During this last session, each person commented on the following question: What about this program surprised you, delighted you, disappointed you, changed you, challenged you?  Here were some of the responses:

“Our own brokenness is our door to the world.”

“I was surprised by how experiential tihs program was.”

“I liked being with people that also look for other things to make their lives richer.”

“I appreciated the intentionality of the group and doing it together.”

“I also learned from the things that did not go smoothly and where there were difficulties.”

“When I was visiting with my friend on the margins, I felt this enormous rush of love that melded me to her. I didn’t ask for it, it was a gift.”

“Now, as I drive by someone begging on the corner, I know that they have a very rich story.”

“Now when I walk down the street in an area that would have scared me before, I want instead to know the story of the people around me. I have less fear now and more curiosity.”

“I let go of another layer of fear in my life.”

“We care about the poor, but we don’t know them.”

“The poor have great hearts.  When we take away their circumstances, they are no different than any of us.”

For me, this experience finally created a sense of community at City House that I have craved for the last 6 years. What a blessing it has been. I am grateful.

Our topic at our last “Will You Drink From This Cup?” program was pain and suffering. Our guest presenters were Trindad and Terry Shaughnessy. Terry is a City House spiritual companion volunteer and has developed a long term relationship with Trinidad, an immigrant from the Caribbean island of Trinidad, that found himself homeless in the streets of St Paul.  (See City House newsletter article written by Terry, “Reflections on a day with homelessness” about his day on the streets of St Paul with Trinidad.) 

Reflections on a day

The use of childern as soldiers is a human rights violation in various parts of the world. Apparently, that is also true in the history of the nation of Trinidad.

trinidad-child-soldiers

Trinidad (the person presenting at our session) talked about becoming a soldier at age 12.  His parents were murdered when he was 17. For his entire adult life, he has had flashbacks of his earlier life as a child soldier.  At one point, the flashbacks were so severe that he could not sleep for 30 days.  Eventually, the father of a friend brought him to the United States.

He wound up sleeping on the floor of the Dorothy Day homeless shelter in St Paul for 7 months.  “I would sleep for only 2 hours a night, while I was there. I would get up and clean up the park and the streets as a way to deal with my anger and pain about where I was in life.”

“When I was young, hatred kept me alive, but not now.  Now I am a soldier of kindness, happiness, and humor.  I am a survivor. I learned that I could survive any situation.”  Today, Trinidad is known on the streets of St Paul as an ambassador that people trust.  His trademark is humor and he likes to use it to defuse even the most difficult situations and the meanest people he encounters.  ”You dropped something mam,” he says to one of the learners in our class, as he points at the floor. As the woman looks down he says, ”your smile.”  I’ve heard him use this one so often, it has lost its charm on me.  But, it seems to work on this woman.

Terry, our City House volunteer, talked about what he has learned from Trinidad.  Trinidad has taught him about the importance of the use of humor and how to put people at ease. When asked by a learner about the biggest obstacle he had to overcome in his relationship with Trinidad, he says, “fear.”

Terry and Trinidad make it clear to each other in front us that they have a deep appreciation and even love for each other. They both acknowledged the size of the other’s heart.

What a blessed evening.

At our City House education session last week, Janice Andersen, the Director of Christian Life at the Basilica of St. Mary’s in Minneapolis was our speaker.  One of her responsibilities is leading the St Vincent DePaul program that serves the poor. It is in that context that City House partners and provides volunteer spiritual companionship for persons who find themselves poor. We asked Janice to tell her own story about how she came to work with the poor and how her own spirituality had been shaped by that work.

Basilica St Mary’s Minneapolis

Janice was articulate, passionate, and vulnerable. She acknowledged, to my surprise, that she herself is someone who is in chemical dependency recovery.  “I could just as easily be one of those persons we serve here at the Basilica in our drop in homeless shelter,” she explained.  “My connection to the poor grounds me and reminds me of the vulnerability and hope of life. They remind me that the more I can accept myself the more I can accept others. They teach me that my tendency towards independence is a defeat and a loss - that my independence leads me to pride.” 

I have always known Janice to be a person of spiritual depth and so passionate about her work. At the end of her presentation, I felt more human, and inspired by her sense of purpose. Thank you Janice for who you are and for all that you do.

At our recent City House educational session,  Janice Andersen of the Basilica of St Mary’s was asked to tell not only her own story, but that of St Vincent de Paul’s.  Here is what she shared with us.

Born in 1580 in France, St Vincent de Paul yearned for an always-deepening relationship with Christ in his life. Drawn into the suffering and pain of the people, he lived with incredible optimism and joy - finding Christ and forgiveness in the faces of those he helped. 

Catholic Encyclopedia

There are four characteristics one can see in St Vincent  de Paul and his ministry. Lived out in humility and simplicity, we can seek to integrate these characteristics into our own life.

Unconditional acceptance, love and patience for himself and others: St Vincent de Paul faced his own shadows and faults, repented and found forgiveness. Letting go of his own need for perfection - admitting his shortcomings, and offering them to be use in service to the Lord - Vincent found freedom, acceptance, patience and love for himself and others.

Absolute balance between prayer and action: The more Vincent embraced the discipline of prayer - the greater his ability to act in love. Even as he embraced humility, Vincent had the audacity to act in bold ways to fulfill his mission of helping the needy and the suffering. Through prayer and meditation we receive what we need to be of service.Through action in relationship, we find God and are drawn back into prayer.

Attentiveness to the moment: Trust that God provides us what we need, and who we need, when we need it.  We must be attentive to who we are with  and what we are doing.  NOW is the moment we find the holy and sacred.  Vincent had a deep conviction that God is present in time, history, events and people. God is here!

God is in charge. As we put our trust in God’s goodness and mercy, we begin to surrender our need to control everything and everyone in our lives.  We develop patience and trust to let God be God, and to wait…

A quote from St Vincent de Paul:

“I should not judge poor peasants, men or women, by their exterior nor by their apparent mental capacities.  All the more is this so since very frequently they scarcely seem to have the appearance or intelligence of reasonable beings, so gross and offensive are they. But turn the medal, and you will see by the light of faith that the son of God, whose will it was to be poor, is represented by these people.”

This poignant poem was written by Teyunna Spears, a City House participant.

I Am A Survivor

Life wasn’t easy growing up as a child, nor is it easy now, But I’m still here, alive trying to make it the best way I know how.

Through the abuse, the neglect, the hurt, the pain I feel each day, Running to drugs, alcohol, anything to make it go away. I didn’t trust enough to let anyone too close to my heart, Not knowing I was pushing away those who truly loved me from the start. 

Sick and tired of being sick and tired, I gave up on my life, Depression and drugs had taken over and all I wanted was to die.

I tried many, many times to forget my unwanted past, Dreaming of happiness and peace with the Heavenly Father at last. I couldn’t understand why God did not want me, Why He chose me to suffer a life so crazy.  I realize now things happened for a reason, I have to keep the faith, stay strong and start believing. 

It’s a struggle to accept the things I cannot change, But I have the willingness to overcome my past today.  I survived all past hurts because I am blessed, With the good Lord above I will pass this test.  It’s a wonderful feeling to know things will soon be alright, That He’s always with me and will never leave my side.

I Am A Survivor! 

I was privileged to hear Vie Thorgren the executive director of Center for Spirituality At Work, from Denver Colorado, present at the Spiritual Director’s International Conference at the end of March.

Center For Spirituality At Work

Spiritual Directors International

Don’t let the name of Vie’s organization fool you. The core of her work is about training spiritual directors in the context of working with persons who find themselves on the margins of society. It is the only program in the country that does this, that I can find. The distinction is that City House takes spiritual directors who are already trained and places them in relationships on the margins. Vie actually trains them there.

At any rate, Vie made statements that I had never heard before, and yet struck me as totally true as soon as I heard them.  She defined “the marginalized” of society as: problems that we think need to be dealt with or fixed; objects of our concern; and yet who are not at the table when decisions are being made about them.

She also said (and this struck me as so true when I heard it), “The energy from the stuff we don’t want to deal with as a society goes to those that are marginalized who suffer it on our behalf.  They carry our individual and collective wounded souls and they will reveal it to us. If we allow them, they will pull our faces off and show us to ourselves. They will cut through our persona.”

Vie went on to say, “Our time with marginalized folks fosters contemplative awareness and interior freedom. They move us into liminal space - that space where the imagined veil covering the sacred is very thin.”

For Vie, and for me, “There is nothing like being accepted by someone on the margins to reduce one’s own need to find acceptance and esteem from those in power in society.” Such paradox and so true.

I felt blessed to be present during her presentation.

Learners from the “Will You Drink From This Cup?” program and participants of the Reentry Metro program

Another astounding story we heard on our inner city pilgrimage for the “Will You Drink From This Cup?” program was from a woman we will call Martha. She lives at Reentry Metro, a half way house for women going into or coming out of prison.

RS Eden Reentry Metro

On the day of our pilgrimage, Martha was fearful. She had been convicted in federal court and was awaiting her sentencing 3 days later, for up to 2 1/2 years in federal prison. She had been convicted of an armed bank robbery. It was hard to imagine this beautiful and sensitive woman sitting in front of us as an armed bank robber. In fact, it was clear that another participant in the room from Reentry Metro saw her as an older and compassionate mentor. Yet, here she was.

As the story unfolded, she explained that her problems all started with undiagnosed mental illness. She suffered from depression and was finally so tired of living with her condition that she decided to commit cop suicide. That is, she robbed a bank with the intent of the police shooting her as a way to kill herself.  She used a bee bee gun to do the robbery and then climbed into her car, waiting for the police to shoot her.

Suicide by cop Wikipedia

Fortunately for her, the police did not shoot her. She was finally diagnosed properly, and she is doing much better now because of having the proper medications. Her biggest fear was regressing in her mental illness as a result of being in prison.

We left there promising to pray for her and believing that a great injustice would be done to sentence a woman like this to prison. To our delight, we heard later that the judge showed leniency and sentenced her to a different half way house, instead of the 2 1/2 year prison sentence that was possible. What a blessing.

Last weekend the learners from the “Will You Drink From This Cup?” program went on a one day inner city pilgrimage. We heard this amazing story from a guest by the name of Wayne at the Dorothy Day Center in downtown St. Paul. 

Wayne was trained as a mechanical engineer and employed by a well known engineering firm. He flew all over the country in his consulting engineering role. When his mother had a stroke, he chose to care for her. Her condition worsened as she moved into her 80s, and he finally quit his job to care for her full time.

In 2001, after he and his mother had used up all of their assets, she went into a nursing home, and for the first time in his life, Wayne became homeless. That’s when he became a guest of the Dorothy Day Center, a drop in homeless shelter.  Just recently, he finally got his life back together and has his own apartment.

“Will You Drink This Cup?” program learners at Dorothy Day 

He is one of the most articulate and well educated persons I have ever met in the sites which City House serves. He is known around Dorothy Day for mentoring younger guys and volunteering to do all kinds of odd jobs.

It was striking to hear him say, “Many of us are only a paycheck away from being homeless.”  It is the first time that I felt my own fear of being homeless disappear. I could see that Wayne, someone like me, had survived it and had even grown through the experience.

One of my favorite Biblical stories is in the book of Samuel, chapter 16. It is when God tells Samuel the prophet that he is sending him to annoint a new king for Israel. Samuel is sent to look for this king among Jesse of Bethlehm’s sons, but he doesn’t know which one. 

So it was, when they came, that he looked at Eliab and said, “Surely the Lord’s anointed is before Him.” But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have refused him. For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” So Jesse called Abinadab, and made him pass before Samuel. And he said, “Neither has the Lord chosen this one.” Then Jesse made Shammah pass by. And he said, “Neither has the Lord chosen this one.” Thus Jesse made seven of his sons pass before Samuel. And Samuel said to Jesse, “The Lord has not chosen these.”

And Samuel said to Jesse, “Are all the young men here?” Then he said, “There remains yet the youngest, and there he is, keeping the sheep.” And Samuel said to Jesse, “Send and bring him. For we will not sit down till he comes here.”

So he sent and brought him in. Now he was ruddy, with bright eyes, and good-looking. And the Lord said, “Arise, anoint him; for this is the one!” Then Samuel took the horn of oil and anointed him in the midst of his brothers; and the Spirit of the Lord came upon David from that day forward.

Yet, one more story in which God chooses the little, the lost, and the least to bring about change in the world. Just as a small boy named David goes on to become a great king and leader for Israel, so God leads and reaches us through persons on the margins of our own society.

The past two weeks, I have been engaged in a fascinating discussion with people about the links between leadership development, spiritual formation / character development, and  intentional relationships with persons on the margins of society.

There are books and leaders in the world that have made the argument that leadership development is more than just a skill set - that it is about character formation. That includes people like Stephen Covey, Kevin Cashman, and many others.

Stephen Covey’s web site 

Leadership From The Inside Out by Kevin Cashman

I have been drawn to the work of Janet Hagberg the past 15 years. Janet is also part of our faculty for the “Will You Drink From This Cup?” program.  Her book, Real Power, does a marvelous job of describing the developmental stages of leadership and the individual’s spiritual formation as part of that process.

Janet Hagberg’s web site 

In fact in Janet’s book, she has a section entitled, “Leading From Your Soul”.  There she describes behaviors and practices that can take one on this journey. One of the practices is to find yourself a mentor on the margin.

I find her book so aptly descriptive of my own experience both in my career and particularly in my time at City House. I am feeling drawn to creating a program where mainstream leaders can have this unique experience - leadership development, through a transformational relationship with someone on the margins. I have been meeting and discussing this possibilty with leaders in the community. There has been an enthusiastic response from many.

One of the leaders I talked to was Jeff Pauley, CEO of Magellan Executive Resources. They have a servant leadership program based on Robert Greenleaf’s work. He and colleagues are hosting a Servant Leadership Training Academy in partnership with St Mary’s College.

Magellan Executive Resources Servant Leader Training Academy announcement

Jeff was very supportive of this new programmatic idea. We had a great conversation and have committed to meeting again.  I will keep you posted as additional discussions take place.