“Forgiving For Your Own Self”
Another story from one of our volunteer spiritual companions who serves at a domestic abuse shelter.
Ginny entered the room and her friend said, “she dragged me here to see you, she said it would be good for me,” Cindy said grudgingly. We talked about their frustrations of the last week regarding; finding suitable housing (“it’s hard to get housing with 4 felons one said), the school uniform of her daughter’s that was stolen from Ginny’s room last night, and finally the violence against them by the men they had just left.
A long pause and Cindy said, “My Momma was a faithful woman and she always said “You gotta forgive and forget,” but I’m having lots of trouble doing that, what’s wrong?” I won’t go into all the details but it was a very rich interchange. Reassuring them it was ok not to forget. . . and as I had them explore what forgiveness meant to them, as they understood it, Cindy didn’t know, as she was still ‘hopping mad’ at the sting of abuse that she and her daughter still felt. I said to Ginny who was slouched in her chair looking uninterested, “What does forgiveness mean for you?” After a long pause, and pushing her hood back off her face for the first time, she said in a quiet voice, “I think you just finally forgive for your own self cause you don’t want to give that person any more of your energy.”
Wow, I thought, I am blessed to be here today— to have been informed and touched by this woman.
To view evocative videos about stories of forgiveness:
